In a distinctly un-seasonal move today the Government has announced that in future people on state benefits will have to be branded with an X on their forehead. A spokesman told us:
"There are too many of these people running around that can't be identified easily enough and we need to rectify this"
A representative for the British Retail Consortium commented:
"We welcome this move and it's not before time. These people are the dregs of society and much more likely to be shoplifters, pass dud twenty pound notes or commit credit card fraud"
A man on state benefit said:
"It's a bloomin' cheek if you ask me. How would Blair and them lot like it? They are the biggest crooks in the country. They're trying to brand us all the same" He added, probably without realising the irony of his comments. He is on benefits after all.
The Government spokesman commented further:
"It was suggested that we make these people wear bright orange suits to help better identify them but this was decided against as we are not inhuman after all. Also the public might have mistaken them for Easyjet employees.
The new rules will come into effect on the first of January.
