King Rufus Found Buried Under Parking Lot Near Beaulieu Motor Museum

Funny story written by Al N.

Saturday, 29 October 2016

image for King Rufus Found Buried Under Parking Lot Near Beaulieu Motor Museum
Another clue was an arrow in the lung area.

King William II Rufus was the son of William the Conqueror and King of England from 1087 to 1100. Described as uncouth, barbaric, lacking both morals and ethics, addicted to vice, and definitely not the most popular king, he was killed by an arrow to the lungs-probably shot by one of his own men.

Although his body was left where it lay when he was shot in the New Forest, it was said it was later removed to Winchester Cathedral. From there, the bones were scattered around during the English Civil War and later put in a giant mortuary chest along with Kings Egbert, Ethelwulfe, and others.

But the body of King William II Rufus was actually identified at the Motor City Museum, which is near the New Forest area where King Rufus was shot. Apparently, the king was so popular that they just dug a shallow grave in the New Forest area and tossed him in.

The grave was discovered when the museum was breaking ground in its parking lot for a new area to display its 1895 Knight auto. The workers came upon some bones (apparently the citizens who buried King Rufus didn't bother with a coffin) and sent them to the British Museum for identification.

Since the royal Norman DNA was on file, it was determined to be Rufus from process of elimination. And someone had carved "Rufus" on the femur.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more