WAR! Make no mistake ladies and gentlemen we are at war. A proper one unlike those little kick abouts in Syria and Iraq. As we have been relentlessly reporting on the Sock Puppet Terrorisation (SPT) it has taken things to a new level. They have attacked our British values and hard working families!
At 12:07 yesterday a church service was being held in Liverbridge On Sea to remember all the soldiers who signed up to fight in the second world war but didn't get to go because the war ended. During the eighth rendition of the National Anthem a sock puppet appeared and disrupted the chorus by knocking over a maypole.
Panic ensured as people fled in all directions and a gun was wildly fired into the air in a attempt to retain calm. Armed police, dog units and two F16s were called in to restore order. After an extensive operation the culprit got away and 45 innocent hard working British people lay dead.
The police should be applauded for their quick and merciless reaction and with a little luck they would have caught the perpetrator. But enough is enough we need action now and people (around 75 including our mate Gary's mum) believe all socks should be banned until a solution can be found to stop the few bad socks becoming bad sock puppets
