As sightings of potential Sock Puppet Terrorisation (SPT) steadily increase the desperate public are taking matters into their own hands. In the last three days:
• A sock factory in Brigg was firebombed by panicked members of the ASA (Anti Sock Alliance) causing £67 worth of damage
• A postman's knees were grazed after he was pushed to the ground by an angry mob of teenagers. They suspected he was a covert operative for SPT and was delivering supplies to a SPT cell in the city
• Popular sock wearing comedian Alex Hall was booed off stage after the audience discovered he was wearing socks
As you can see this problem has escalated far beyond the control of local authorities so it's down to people like us to plead with the government. So please Mrs May if you can tear yourself away from privatising the NHS, wondering how many bombs to drop on the Middle East or which guys in the cabinet are checking out your ass and help the people. It's time for the Tories to put a end to SPT.
