Tonight Deputy Prime Minister, John Prescott, is in police custody accused of eating the daughter of one of his constituents.
The Spoof has learned this disturbing news from the girl's grandfather who told us:
"My daughter, Joanie, and grand daughter, little Katie, had gone to one of Mr Prescott's weekly surgeries to complain about gangs of thugs terrorising their local area."
It is alleged Prescott asked her to "make it quick love" as he hadn't eaten all day. During the meeting Joanie went to the loo leaving little Katie with Mr Prescott and when she came back into the room Katie was gone and nowhere to be found.
Prescott denied any knowledge of what had happened, suggesting the little girl had most probably wandered off after her mum. He then spent the remainder of the meeting belching profusely, picking his teeth with a tooth pick, dabbing his mouth with a napkin and sipping on a fine dessert wine.
The distraught mother reported the Deputy PM to police who will say nothing more except to confirm that a big bloke who drives a Jaguar is helping them with their inquiries.
