Royal inbred and Prince of Darkness, Royal George, or Damien 5 as he is known by long suffering nannies, has turned 17 months of age despite all attempts by god fearing Royal staff to have him put down discretely.
Wheeled out farting like a wart hog for his first public photos for five months, the evil little bastard proudly defecated into his Tesco Value nappy as proud cuckold 'Dad' William, vainly tried to control the streaming excrement as it oozed from the sides of the piss poor cheap nappies!
Meanwhile, Kate, proudly displaying her latest secret tryst 'bump' for all to see, hastily ordered a nearby lady-in-waiting-lackey to change the little shit before dear papa fainted from the odour.
Returning minutes later looking resplendent in his £1.99 Primark tank top, Sports Direct white cotton bodysuit and shorts, at £1.75 each, finished off with knee high socks from the 99p Shop and a pair of Shoe Zone plastic sandals; two for a tenner, George was ready for his close-up.
As cameras whirled and flashes flashed the spawn graciously let go with another rump ripper, following through with a second wave shit of mammoth proportions, the latter causing great merriment from all in attendance as they vainly attempted to breathe, politely!
Again, the little rascal was hastily taken aside by a waiting lackey and returned minutes later all done and dusted and ready for round two with the paparazzi.
In the best traditions of Royalty within minutes young George was seen to be shaking his head violently from side to side before issuing forth with a magnificent projectile vomit which instantly took out a Daily Mail photographer. Laughingly wiping himself clean the hapless photographer hastily took copious photos of the Royal vomit which will be included in the Daily Mail's weekend Souvenir fold-out edition.
Meanwhile, sales of the young Princes fashionable attire have been flying off the shelves at Primark, Sports Direct, The 99p Shop and Shoe Zone as frantic store owners place massive orders with Global sweatshops in order to keep up with the demand from brain-dead mothers attempting to emulate the young Royals fashion savvy.
Sharp eyed Royalists have already started bidding on George's soiled nappies and dried vomit which have been appearing on EBay within minutes of their manufacture, a spokesperson for Tesco adding; "Such has been the demand for our Value range nappies we have had to end our BOGOF deal, no pun intended darlings!"
