Homoeopathic housing to ease the housing crisis

Written by IainB

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

image for Homoeopathic housing to ease the housing crisis
Here is an artists impression of a three bedroom house drenched in water. Admittedly, frozen water.

With insufficient housing in the United Kingdom, homoeopaths have come forward to provide a solution.

"Previously we used homoeopathy for medicine," said Paul Seeboh. "But we realised that it applies to a much wider range of disciplines."

In medicine, a homoeopathic remedy is made by diluting an active ingredient millions of times until there is no trace left of the ingredient, but instead, it's impression is imprinted within the water, making it much more potent than the original active ingredient, whilst at the same time being vastly more safe. Especially when the original ingredient was belladonna or cyanide. This massive amount of dilution allows millions of people to be treated from just ten grammes of active ingredient.

"In order to house more people," said Seeboh, "we're taking a house and diluting it millions of times in order to house as many people as possible."

Builders have already identified a suitable house, a detached three bedroom house in Northwich, Cheshire, with a detatched garage and it's own garden.

"Our research has shown that this is the most suitable kind of house," said Seeboh. "A lot of people like this kind of house. And homoeopathy is all about pleasing as many people as possible with as little effort as possible."

Builders have already arrived on site in Nortwich and started drenching the house in water.

"Over the next week or two," said Seeboh, "we'll be taking the house to pieces and soaking it in water. These pieces will be broken apart, and again drenched in water. Eventually, we'll have ten million houses, each drenched in water."

"Basically," said James Randi, who had listened to the whole thing, "these cockwombles want us to live in puddles."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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