MPs to be put on Zero Hour Contracts

Written by IainB

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

image for MPs to be put on Zero Hour Contracts
If you're not needed, you're not paid

Labour Liverpool councillor, Bobby Davro, has called for all Members of Parliament to be put on zero hour contracts.

"The current ConDem coalition has not only allowed, but actively encouraged the use of zero hour contracts across the country," said Davro. "They claim it's the future, and I agree. It's time for MPs to follow suit."

For the uninitiated, a zero hours contract is one for which a person is paid for the hours they work, but there are no minimum hours stipulated in the contract.

"When you don't work," explained Davro, "you don't get paid."

To make matters worse, there is no guarantee that there will be any work at all, and employees cannot have a job with somebody else.

"So," said Davro, "you can be sat at home on your arse, unable to claim any benefits because you're working, and getting no money because your not."

Davro believes that zero-hour contracts would be perfect for MPs.

"MPs in this country sit about on their arses for most of the time, racking up huge salaries," he said. "The Prime Minster gets quarter of a million quid. A year. Ordinary MPs get a hundred and ten grand. This is ludicrous."

Under Davro's proposed scheme, MPs would only get paid for the number of hours that they work, and if there's no votes going on in the Houses of Parliament for them to look at, they wouldn't be called in, and would get no money."

"I call this pay-per-view," said Davro.

Campaigning for an upcoming election, as far as Davro is concerned, is equivalent of looking for a new job, and doesn't count as doing the job they were elected to do.

"Let's fact it," said Davro. "If you're in the office looking on job sites, your bosses are entitled to get a tad upset. Well, we're the MPs bosses, and I'm upset that they get paid while looking to get re-elected."

Davro thinks the new scheme much fairer, and hopes that it won't be applied to councillors. Especially those in Liverpool, or with the initials BD.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more