Psst! Wanna buy a Brit footbal club from Mohammed Fayed?

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 12 July 2013

image for Psst! Wanna buy a Brit footbal club from Mohammed Fayed?
Craven Cottage where Khan's all-women's Fulham Cougars will play

Florida - Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shahid Khan has splashed out a reported $302 million on Fulham Football Club in a deal described by the City as 'deeply machiavellian' even by Brit standards.

Notorious hoaxer Fayed has claimed ownership of the South London Club ever since winning it in a game of craps from Pope John Paul II back in '69.

The Egyptian former brothel keeper also managed to flog off Harrabs Emporium in Knightsbridge, London SW3 to the Qataris for a reported $1.4 billion after some nifty palm greasing by Tony B Liar.

Khan, 69, said today he was delighted at his Craven Cottage purchase and was considering fielding an all-women over-30s team which he was going to name the Fulham Cougars.

He becomes the sixth American owner of a UK Premier League club to fall for such a classic Brit ruse following decades of Brit Tory Party talk upping Mohammed Fayed's profile from 'Not To Be Trusted Under Any Circumstances' to 'Any Port In a Storm'.

The club's first away fixture next season is a Barclays Poison Cup first-rounder against Scottish Nationalist fantasy side the Hibernian Wild Cats.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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