The BBC have commissioned a new Soap in a sensational move to stop the drift away from the Beeb.
It is to be called The Royal Family and is based on the success of the previously popular sitcom The Royle Family, about a bunch of layabouts.
The Queen will take a leading role but all viewers are to be ordered to kneel while the programme is on the air. Some people we have contacted have explained that kneeling is difficult for them as they have wobbly knees.
However in the best British spirit they are determined to soldier on. 'This ordeal is the least we can do for our country' explained Madge Mouse, 99.
The idea for the new soap came from the new director general at the BBC, Delilah Fawning, who has made several other moves to put a new slant on the role of the BBC in society.
'We want people to forget their problems. We will create a virtual world in which the excitement of the Royal Family will engender a recovery of the British spirit.'
Already story lines have been leaked: A baby is being foretold, two funerals, an abdication and divorce are all being trailed in exciting story lines which will keep the public happy.
