Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 16 May 2013

image for Theresa May suspects she should remain anonymous until charged
Mum's the word

London - "There will be circumstances," Home Secretary Theresa May said today, "when keeping yer gob shut and pleading The Fifth will be in the best interests of the Conservative Party."

That means people who have been arrested should not be named in case they - or someone - accidentally grass/es themselves - or others - up by dint of lack of relevant anonymity clauses in the British criminal justice system.

"Stands to reason," the Home Sec explained, "considering the arrangement has stood the test of time."

It is hoped the comments will clarify transparency issues raised in the recent case of the Who's Who in Parliament & On the Fraud Squad's 100 Most Wanted List.

The annual publication names canny politicians who have successfully evaded media headlines following a 6-am knock on the door by officers from Her Majesty's Constabulary.

And matters arising.

Nick Clegg is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Theresa May

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