Written by Paxton Quigley

Sunday, 21 October 2012

image for Tory Grandees Tell Party to "Shake off Elitist Image"
Rachel Johnson: "Toffs being bullied"

In an article in today's Observer leading Tory figures including Lord Norman "On Yer Bike" Tebbit warn Prime Minister "Call Me Dave" Cameron to lose their "arrogant toffs" label.

It has been a tempestuous week for the party, having lost one of its caring, sharing leading lights, former Chief Whip Andrew Mitchell in the "Plebgate" affair and with Chancellor Gideon "George" Osborne in turn becoming involved in the "Great Train Snobbery" when refusing to sit on a train with members of the electorate, or "plebs" as Old Etonians like to term them.

Some Conservative supporters however were sympathetic with out-of-touch members of the government, including the well-known political commentator and Editor-in-chief of "The Lady", Rachel Johnson.

Ms. Johnson advised "The Tories should neither attack nor defend their background. It is a form of bullying to allow constant tormenting of toffs but no teasing of 'plebs'…...as my husband says many people are secretly reassured to be governed by the 'ruling classes'."

When tackled about her evidence of the "many people" claim, Ms. Johnson was unapologetic, naming her sources as her brother Boris, the Mayor of London; HRH Prince Edward; Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes and "a myriad" of readers.

In figures available for the first six months of 2011, the average sales for each issue of The Lady totalled just 29,164, more than five per cent down on 2010.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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