St Osyth lion spotted near Deadlane Grove crop circle: reports

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Monday, 27 August 2012

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St Osyth Lion on the lookout for some tasty crop circle-chanting Druids

Essex - Primordial feline navigation techniques that harness the power of ancient lay lions - er...ley lines! - may be behind the latest St Osyth big cat sighting.

Lunchtime TV news reports said the marauding beast had been spotted in an Essex crop circle sandwiched in between Deadlane Grove and Lady Wood.

The wheat field etching sprang up on August 17th - the day of the Leo Full Moon - and is said to depict stars of the Leo constellation.

This afternoon the area was being cleared of New Age hippies and cereology freaks who had gathered inside the crop circle 'for skyclad chanting and stuff' ahead of Friday's Full Moon esbat.

"The last thing we want is some hungry big cat lunching on these colorful local nuts," Essex Police Service sources commented.

Latest updates from St Osyth's Red Lion Pub saloon bar suggest it might be a lioness searching for her cubs.

"Of course it could turn out to be a fake - a large stuffed toy like that bogus tiger that police helicopter squads shot the other year.

"Fancy a pint of Ceylonese Lion Lager? Said to work wonders for on all Big Pussy fans."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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