Reggie Kray Honeymoon Photos Surface At Auction

Funny story written by Sidney Bollocks

Tuesday, 22 May 2012


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Reggie Kray's eternity ring

Previously unseen photographs of Reggie Kray's honeymoon have surfaced at an East London auction house. Speculation is rife that the lot of three snaps could achieve a price of £8.50 plus VAT and postage & packing.

Eric Nonce, managing director of fine art auctioneers Crapjoy & Scheiss, said "These never before seen photographs of Reggie and his first wife, Frances, are the dogs bollocks. There is one of them standing infront of the Acropolis in Athens, albeit looking as miserable as sin, but the historic significance of the shot can't be underestimated. After all, the Acropolis is now owned by the Bundesbank, following Germany's recent bailout payments to Greece".

Mr Nonce went on to say, "The best of the lot is a photo of Reggie expressing his displeasure with a waiter in a Piraeus kebab house. He's got the poor bastard on the table, with his bell end in his right hand, while he's about to give his bollocks a pasting with a soup ladle in his left hand. If anything, Reggie was always versatile".

It is understood that a serious bid has been put together by the Bethnal Green Neighbourhood Protection & Extortion Association, who, if successful, will petition to exhibit the collection at the Museum of East London Luminaries.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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