Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

image for Queen's bank to be flogged off to Arabs
It's all your bloody fault that one is skint, George

London - Some Abu Dhabi shaikhs are in the frame to snap up disgraced royal bank C**tts & Co.

The Queen's personal slushfund was fined £8.75million yesterday after the FSA slammed its high-risk 'politically exposed persons' caught up in a Palace boiler room scam.

Formerly part of NatWest and latterly RBS C**tts is being eyed up by First Shaikh Ratel & Roll BankCorp, described as a piggy-bank to the UAE's ruling Al-Nahyan family.

Existing account holders could be invited to transfer any ill-gotten filthy lucre to the Emirates in return for 'very reasonable' UK plea bargain terms.

These would see them avoid jail until after the Diamond Jubilee or Queen Elizabeth's eagerly awaited RIP - whichever is the sooner.

For royal tosspots like Prince Andrew today's announcement holds mixed blessings.

The former UK Representative for International Rough Trade has been turned down by half a dozen City outfits after trying to borrow £5 million for a property scam.

Last week the Crown Estate rejected moves to flog off a couple of magnificent Regency mansions to the Duke at bargain basement prices.

Apparently Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie have fallen in love with some Central London freeholds that would make 'suitable' starter homes for them.


"Hell will freeze over before these royal sluts get their hands on any Crown Estate properties," the head of the UK's Fraud orifice said today.

Kate Middelton is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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