Written by Deafo

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Fuel tanker drivers have voted in favour of obstructing markedly more journeys than usual in an ongoing row over safety conditions which have seen them placed in a similar amount of danger to someone trying to over-take one of their vehicles, the Unite union has said.

The union is seeking improvements to the 'unacceptable' working conditions which see their members left as expendable as a Nissan Micra driving family-of-four from Glasgow.

Spokesman, Alton Park, was adamant a British population already struggling to afford the cost of filling their cars were fully behind their attempts at re-invigorating demand to make it an even more unlikely prospect.

'Our members are clear in their unswerving belief that the public is fully aware the contempt we display for their lives on the road has every right to be expressed in many different ways,' he explained.

'They should view this strike action as you would one of our drivers bullying manoeuvres in your wing mirror, which is at about 70 mph on any motorway you care to name.'

'Our driver, of course, is safe in the knowledge you will yield to the potential fire ball jockeying for your place in the middle lane.'

'In many ways that is what we are doing to all of you right now.'

The government is said to be investigating methods relating to the acquisition and distribution of fuel in a manner that didn't involve an extensive period of air strikes on a Middle-Eastern province.

'Not dropping bombs is much more difficult then you think,' a Downing Street official confirmed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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