Written by queen mudder

Sunday, 18 March 2012

image for Druids' equinox procession to de-hex Primrose Hill of toxic karma left behind by Sadie Frost, Peter Mandelson, Rhys Ifans,Jude Law, Ewan McGregor, Kate Moss etc etc
Druids will cleanse Primrose Hill of spent condoms, bongs and bootleg packets of Marlboro Frights

London - Successive solar and lunar eclipses have failed to cleanse North London's premier pagan hot spot of decades of luvvies' toxic crap.

This Tuesday karmic pest control in the guise of the Druids' annual Vernal Equinox parade up the iconic Royal Park mound is set to eradicate any remaining fecal deposits with an equinoctial banishing ritual.

Hundreds of skyclad pagan priests are to neutralize the louche Primrose Hill Set's toxic legacy including buried spliff roaches, Class-1 substance abuse snorting paraphernalia, spent condoms, contaminated sharps and bootleg packets of Marlboro Frights.

"Think of us as karmic pest control," Arch Druid Wulferic McStinkhorn tweeted this morning, "battling against the Z-Listers effluvia and other celeb bollox."

Regent's Park Arch Druidess Amanita Vaginata is also blaming negative energy from nearby Winfield House, official residence of US Ambassador and former bent used car salesman Louis Susman, host of last year's Presidential state shindig for the fetid Obamas and the House of Windsor.

"Always thought Susman's predecessor-but-one William Stamps Farish the Turd - er...Third! - took the karmic biscuit with that Bichon Frise hound-from-hell of his, Condoleezza Whassisname," Mistress Vaginata blogged on her Farcebook account.

"Wanna see pix of Kate Moss feeding Pete Doherty's Lhasa Asbo - er...Apso! - tender morsels from the Farish fridge?

"Nah, pretty much thought so!"

Peter Mandelson is 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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