Lord Lucan 'still drawing his UK old age pension and winter heating allowance': reports

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 26 February 2012

image for Lord Lucan 'still drawing his UK old age pension and winter heating allowance': reports
Still a looker despite his years 'Lucky' Lucan pictured here on his birthday last year

London - Declared 'legally dead' in October 1999 he even got a free TV licence sent to his Nyang'oma Kogelo, Nyanza Province, Kenya PO Box address and Christmas cards signed by Mrs Thatcher.

This weekend the full extent of UK taxpayer largesse to Richard John Bingham, 7th Earl of Lucan, has been exposed.

"He's been on £26,000 a year," a Department for Work, Pensions & Skiving Abroad source commented.

"That's little better than a bit of beer money and absolutely the new Government benchmark for annual handouts to foreign scroungers - like Abu Qatada - in the UK."

Apparently some kindhearted humanitarian lawyer pals of Mrs T fixed up the arrangements ages ago covering essential expenses of life in the tropics.

These legal eagles may also know a thing or two about Lucky Lucan's undeclared British descendants...whose own shyster lawyer careers have prospered like magic.

Details of ex gratia payments to the fugitive Earl may also have been made by these adult children from creaming off client account
expenses and dodgy VAT frauds.

"Of course, they can't prove nothing now the Tories are back in power, heheh," the source continued.

"Wanna see pix of Lucky Lucan playing Blackjack with Barack Obama Senior at Kenya's Treetops Motel, circa 1982?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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