Flab Fighters changed my life

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 24 February 2012

image for Flab Fighters changed my life
Carol finally in the jeans that drove her

Carol Heeney from Dorking has revealed how visiting Flab Fighters has changed her life.

"Before I joined flab fighters," she said, "I weighed twenty-two stone. Something had to change."

Her friends noticed how she changed, and commented on it regularly.

"She turned from a happy, bubbly lass," said her former best friend (FBF), Kristin Holdsworth, "into an obsessed and driven woman who was focused solely on getting down to ten stone."

They'd told her not to set her goals so high, but she did.

"I was going to meetings twice a week," said Carol. "The weight was dropping off."

"She was regularly away from home," said husband Lucas Heeney. "When she was at home, everything was about diet plans and exercise. She had no time for me or the kids."

Lucas has admitted that this lack of attention was what drove him into the arms of another woman.

"Carol was too obsessed to notice I wasn't there any more," said Lucas.

To make matters worse, as Carol approached her target, to shift the extra pounds, she became addicted to the popular weight-loss drugs, caffeine and nicotine.

"You never see a fat addict," she would often say.

She took the addictions too far, and by the time the custody hearing came up for her divorce she was on the harder stuff: ginseng.

"Flab fighters have really changed my life," she said after the hearing. "I've lost my friends, my family and my kids. I've lost any sense of direction in my life. On the bright side, though. I'm now ten stone."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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