Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

image for OMG! Somali pirates poised to capture HMS Daring on Friday the 13th!!
Pirates on a steal-to-order mission for the Republic of Ecuador

Portsmouth - A ouija board reading at the Admiralty tonight voiced fears about the Brits' new kick-ass boat HMS Daring being seized by Somali pirates on Friday the 13th.

The Type 45 destroyer left Portsmouth this morning bound for the turbulent, oil rich waters of the Arabian Gulf.

British naval commanders were 'so worried' about a potential Iranian blockade of the Straits of Hormuz that the ship was kitted out with more dogs-bollocks military hardware than ever assembled on any British destroyer.

According to strands of hexoplasm seen at the Admiralty seance this evening Daring may be the target of a massive Somali pirate attack which will see the renegades steal the $2billion ship to order for banana republic kleptocracies like Ecuador.

The ship's commanding officer Captain Guy Robinson said this evening all that was rubbish, water off a very experienced duck's back, etc.

His vessel's state of the art air defence system is backed up by a full complement of 48 Sea Viper missiles, six Lynx helicopters armed with an array of Sea Skua anti-ship missiles and enough serious other hardware to make the UK defence industry beam with pride.

A full ship's company of 139 plus 60 troops for flight deployment sees the 8,000 tonne, 500ft floating battle station ready to replicate recent sea trials where an intensive 'swarm attack' saw Daring track, ensnare and destroy more enemy targets than five of its predecessor Type 42 destroyers.

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is one sad case.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
63 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more