A man from Cornwall claims to have discovered evidence of God on Bodmin Moor. Geoff Tractor, 47, is an unemployed astronaut from Launceston, and is convinced that the creator of the Universe lives on the remote moorland. Tractor said, "I was up on...
An undercover reporter dressed as an Arab and working for the Sunday Scandal Newspaper has uncovered evidence of unbridled polygamy in the St. Ives area and allegations of widespread cruelty to cats. As the reporter was allegedly going towards St.
President Obama has expressed grave concern that Cornwall has been taken over by the militant Prince Charles, member of the British Royal Family and the Prince of Wales. Charles has been reported to the President by the C.I.A. as having undemocra...
Since it was announced that Cornish people, and Cornwall itself will be granted minority status under European rules, flocks of British celebrities have announced that they'll be taking the opportunity to 'emigrate' to Cornwall. Richard and Judy, who...
PORT ISAAC, CORNWALL - Exciting news from the set of Doc Martin. According to people who are close to the set, in Season 7, Doc Martin will leave Louiser after realizing Mrs. Tishell is, in fact, more his type. Louiser, meanwhile, takes off to...
Cameltoe, Pornwall - The government is very sorry about stuff that happened back in 1988. A statement issued on the No 10 website says 'Sorry, guys - we f++ked up' and blames Arfer Skagill for the mess. More than 20 tonnes of amphetamine sulpha...
Cornwall - A gelatinous Cabo-adjunto - ['Attached corporal'] has been found washed up in the Duchess of Cornwall nether regions according to marine pest control reports. Described by Portuguese military sources as a varmint 'with a gas-filled blad...
Bodmin - The 2.2 magnitude tremor hit the Lizard Peninsula shortly before 3am in what Icke once prophesied would be the first portent of the Reptilian New Dawn. Some of his New Age conspiracist pals also reckon the quake is a grim precursor to a g...
Reports are coming in from Cornwall that a man-eating fridge freezer has been spotted basking in St Ives waters: "The massive beast came within yards of my boat as i was trawling round Zennor Head" said fisherman Blimey Windy. Now speculation is m...
A Hurricane over the Isles of Silly is on course for the mainland of Britain. Nothing else matters in the world and waves can be seen in the English channel. An order has gone out to everyone living in Cornwall and Devon to move immediately to Fra...
Hello, me dearios. I've been perambulatin' again. Perambulatin' I have. And my peregrinations, they have revealed much to me about the ways of our island people. I did follow the ancient Way of the Cladger, through the old branglin' grounds of Somerset, and there I did espy the Church of St Ethel, at Upper Nacker, where lie the remains of Gideon Piddler, the inventor of the Steam Grundler in 18...
The announcement that Cornish Pasties have been awarded a Protected Geographical Indication status under European Commission rules has delighted many a pasty maker from Cornwall. The status allows only them to label their pasties Cornish using a str...
The European Court is likely to protect the Cornish Pasty by giving it a PGI (Pretty Good Indigestion) award - meaning that only Pasties prepared in Cornwall can be called 'Cornish Pasties'. Pasties made in Devon, following the same recipe, cannot...
Mass horror in Cornwall today as what has been described as the "Anti-Santa" was witnessed stealing presents from homes in Worsley Dorsley. Mrs. Elena Morris woke up this morning and discovered a leering fat man dressed in green with a lethal sack...
Bored citizens of St Austell calling for its independence from the UK have admitted accidentally flooding the area by taking advantage of the adverse weather conditions during a botched attempt at turning the town into an island. "Island of Auste...
Port Wenn, Cornwall - Local GP, Doctor Martin Ellingham today stiffly denied that he had officiated at the birth of the Cameron baby earlier this week as he addressed hordes of pressmen on the doorstep of his surgery. Doc Martin - as the locals ca...
A sudden and shocking gust of wind in a small cornish village caused a usually straight standing tree to 'lean dramatically'. Eyewitness Kenwyn Cribbs told us "we were all in the pub when this gust came whippin' by! Next thing ol' leafy, thats the...
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