Premenstrual Woman Kills Husband For Whistling

Funny story written by Danny Soz

Thursday, 1 December 2011

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A small village in The Cotswolds was in shock today as details emerged of a grisly murder in the quiet rural backwater, apparently as a result of a local woman suffering from the much publicised premenstrual syndrome, completely losing patience with her husband over a whistling incident.

Mrs Janet Arden, 35, allegedly brutally attacked and dismembered her husband Arthur, a market gardener and lay preacher, on Saturday night after he began whistling along to a catchy pop song on Radio 2.

Police were called after a neighbour complained of loud screams and maniacal cackling coming from an open window of the Arden's semi-detached bungalow in a quiet cul-de-sac.

Det. Inspector Alan Taylor later issued a statement in which he recalled: "it was the worst crime scene I've had to deal with in 25 years as a serving officer.

"There was blood everywhere and dismembered body parts lay strewn all over the house and garden.

"When I questioned Mrs Arden, she claimed that she'd got a bit annoyed with her husband earlier after he'd put a knife in the fork drawer and that the whistling incident had pushed her over the edge.

"She then went on to point out she was only a few days away from the beginning of her menstrual cycle. She then stated that "the irritating little bastard had it coming."

The case grimly mirrors a similar outrage that took place last year in a neighbouring village, when another local woman set fire to her husband's pubic hair and attacked him with a butcher's meat hook for allegedly forgetting to put the rubbish out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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