Two fat ladies (not singing) have been identified as serial killers in Ramsbottom, Lancashire UK, after a series of male, dead bodies, had been fished out of the River Ogden by fly-fishers with nothing better to do.
The local police were bemused by the sight of the bodies, all very skinny, crushed to the bone and men. After identification it seems that they all had one thing in common, a fetish for very fat, obese, tatooed females between the age of 20 and 29 and weighing in at anything betweeen 20 and 29 stone.
The police then kept undercover surveillance at the local McDonalds, KFC, Burger King, fish and chip shops, etc. After a couple of weeks and many burgers later they discovered that 2 very fat, tatooed ladies were seen chatting up the local skinnies. They took them home and after a night of red-hot "fatty bacon sex", sat on them, OUCH! (All analogies with Praying Mantas are not suitable)
They then dumpped the crushed bodies in the River. The police caught them "red-bummed" and "hot-pussied". During interrogation they found out the reason why the 2 had turned into obese serial killers, here their answer:
"A fucking (literally) fireman burned both of us at once (heavy job) and we were determined to have our revenge on the skinny bastards!"
They were both sentenced to life, a strict diet and lesbian sex for the rest of their lives!
