Gok Wan to become the fifth emergency service

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

image for Gok Wan to become the fifth emergency service
Gok Wan could be available 24x7

Popular, and very camp, fashionista Gok Wan has requested to be added to the 999 emergency services list.

"Well, honey," said Gok (he insisted on being called just by his first name), "there are a lot of women out there that need my help. I just can't possibly get to them all."

Under Gok's proposed new scheme, when ringing 999 the operator will now say: "Which emergency service do you require? Police, fire, rescue, coastguard or Gok Wan?"

Selecting Gok Wan will connect the stricken straight through to Channel 4's gay clothes designer.

"I can then offer the women fashion advice over the phone," said Gok. "They can describe their potential faux pas, their shape and what the item is for. And I can then tell them 'honey, you're beautiful' and say whether or not they should get the item."

Women, shopping in a department store were stopped and asked whether or not having Gok Wan as the fifth emergency service would be acceptable.

"I think it's a brilliant idea," said Wendy House from Salford. "I'm forever wondering if big floral prints are suitable for a woman of my frame."

Her husband, Terrance, was less than impressed though. "Sounds like a stupid idea," he said. "I work for the advertising department at the AA and we'd have to change our strap line to the sixth emergency service."

Should Gok fail in his attempt to be added to the emergency service list, he intends to launch his own iPhone App instead.

"It's going to be brilliant, honey," he said. "As everything I do is."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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