Yao Ming Retires from the NBA, Launches a Big & Freakishly Tall Clothing Store

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

image for Yao Ming Retires from the NBA, Launches a Big & Freakishly Tall Clothing Store
Potential customer for Yao's Big & Ming

Yao Ming, the seven foot, six inch center for the Houston Rockets, announced his retirement from the NBA in Shanghai China yesterday, in addition to hawking the grand opening of his new big & tall clothing stores across the US and Europe.

While the marketing and franchise strategy was being handled by a friend and close associate to Ming back in China, new store signage suffered a bit during English translation here in the U.S. The new stores which were intended to appeal to taller and portly men in Houston and other NBA team cities, had opened under the name of; Ming's Fat and Bean Pole. U.S. and European advertising budgets were reportedly wasted over the bad store naming incident, where one store reported a meager opening day gross sales of $12.50 on a single passer-by who opted to purchase a red polyester tie.

Ming was not upset over the incident, but called for a British advertising firm to re-tool the signage for European and U.S. consumption. The store signs and website logos were immediately replaced with new graphics, calling the franchise "Big & Ming", with a picture of Yao standing up in place if the letter "i". Ming's Chinese agent, Jin Ma, declared, "That much more better".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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