President Obama is to pay a visit to Former England captain Rio Ferdinand,so he can get a first hand account of the conflict between Rio and Fabio Capello, the England manager.
'Before we have a UN resolution on this matter' Obama announced 'I want to be sure Rio is ready for the media attention he is bound to receive. I also want to have a word with Capello, who seems to have over stepped the conditions laid out by former UN resolution 2984.'
Prayers are being said in towns and villages throughout England to keep the weather clear for Obama's visit. The Archbishop of Canterbury said he was worried about Rio's future and he trusted that an Almighty solution to the grave conflict between Rio and Capello would be forthcoming. If anyone can sort this out it must be Oboma.'
It is unusual for an American President to visit a former England football captain and mumbles on the Tory backbenches have been heard about 'foreign interference'. 'Where will this end' complained Pevensey Putrid MP for Poole East and notorious right winger 'we will have immigrants telling us who should be in our cricket team next.'
But David Cameron with his pet puppy, Pissing Leg, by his side welcomed the assistance Obama was giving to what has become an almost unsolvable problem. Obama is not due to meet Leg.