Progress! Kevin Kolb Stays Conscious Through Entire Eagles-Jaugars Game Sunday.

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Monday, 27 September 2010

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PHILADELPHIA - Philadelphia Eagles fans and coaches alike are thrilled at the progress shown by now-83th-string QB Kevin Kolb, just two weeks after KTFO during the Eagles season opener against Packers.

"We are really happy that Kevin was able to stay upright for the entire game," said Eagles coach Andy Reid, while wrapping chicken McNuggets in cotton candy before dipping them in caramel. "He was a huge help, waking around the sidelines with a clipboard, listening to the playcalls and generally pretending to earn this week's paycheck."

Michael Vick was no slouch this weekend either, being responsible for all of the Eagles' scoring in a 28-3 rout of the Jaguars.

Michael was good and all, throwing for nearly 300 yards, passing for 3 touchdowns and running for a fourth," continued Reid. "But how about that Kevin Kolb, huh? Go ahead, ask him a question."

(For the record, Kolb was asked, 'what state are you in?' The correct answer would have been 'Florida', while Kolb's answer, 'this is pointy', could also be considered acceptable.)

Reid had insisted Kolb would start when he returned from a concussion.

"He'll be back soon, I promise," said Reid, who gave up ending every bullsh-t answer to a reporter's question with 'the time is yours'. "As soon as Vick begins to lose it --and he will-- Kevin Kolb will be doing his best Bobby Hoying impression behind center."

7-9, here we come!!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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