Pete Rose Sits on Kiana Kim; Pete Rose

Written by P.M. Wortham

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

image for Pete Rose Sits on Kiana Kim; Pete Rose
Pete caught himself a hot grounder.

Still hawking what Rose himself would describe as a conservative and improved overall public image, recent appearances with new girlfriend Kiana Kim, paint the once famous baseball player in a completely different, and less than wholesome light.

Though still petitioning Cooperstown for a lift of his lifetime ban from baseball so he might be considered for the Hall of Fame, Pete Rose has moved on with his life. With the addition of a much younger girlfriend, who was also named as one of the sexiest 100 women in the world, Rose seems to be rising to the occasion, even when there isn't an occasion to rise to.

Spotted in interviews around New York including the Howard Stern Show, Kim seems permanently attached to Rose's lap. Offered her own chair to sit on by Stern Show producer Gary DelAbate, Rose held her down while Kim just giggled, "He's almost finished". "That explains the break away sweat pants he was wearing", said DelAbate after Rose had left the interview.

The 69 year old Rose seems content with his new diet of little blue pills and sushi, with Miss Kim providing the appetizer, main course and dessert. Cincinnati baseball fans still love their fallen hero however, and support him wherever he goes and with whatever he does. "Pete is the man. If he can't score in Cooperstown, then the man can definitely score a world class hottie. That has to take some of the sting out of being banned from the hall", says lifetime Rose fan, Mel Anoma.

Pete Rose and his break away, quick snap release pants can be seen with Miss Kiana Kim around New York. If you happen to spot her on his lap, you can be sure that Pete Rose.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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