Kraken Eats Apollo Anton Ohno As He Wins 20th Olympic Metal!

Funny story written by IDIOT

Friday, 26 February 2010

image for Kraken Eats Apollo Anton Ohno As He Wins 20th Olympic Metal!
Watch out, those new Olympic "stars" may be radioactive!

Ok not really, but that is what these lame sports/movie tie-in commercials seem to show.

It was first seen during the NBA Finals where Kobe Bryant turns into a Orc. Now, during the Olympics there is a Kraken that is about to eat Apollo Anton Ohno. Do we really think these elite athletes will actually find supernatural powers and suddenly grow wings and fly?

It seems like it is downplaying the hard work and dedication these people have wasted their lives to achieving the ultimate in sports. But that is not cool enough, now they have to appear supernatural. Perhaps Genetic Engineers and Biochemists (of the illegal kind) can help, and given the enthusiasm that baseball players have for injecting foreign chemicals into their blood streams to make them look like supernatural behemoths. So maybe it is not such a bad idea.

But the International Olympic Committee will have to get on-board. I think the royalties from the movies their "stars" (after winning every possible metal every 4 years) appear in movies like "Clash of the Titans" will help them see the light.

So coming soon to a Cinerama near you and then in the next winter Olympics in Sochi 2014, watch bitter Russian figure skater Evgeni Plushenko (hey, if we can get used to Arnold Schwarzenegger's name we can get used to Plushie boy) do that quad. In the movie, will do that quad about 50 times while stabbing demons that look surprisingly like US Gold metal winner Evan Lysacek. He will then be able to skate around the world so fast that time will go backwards and his love interest (played by Apollo Anton Ohno) will come back to life after being eaten by the Kraken.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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