Nottingham Forest Unplugged

Funny story written by Rebut

Saturday, 7 August 2004

image for Nottingham Forest Unplugged
Forest physio in search of an injured player..

News that Faria Alam is set to spill the beans on the F.A and the IOC has been rocked by another corruption scandal, has been relegated to also rans by the media. The big breaking news is the allegations coming out of the City Ground Nottingham.

The Nottingham City Council (NCC) stood as guaruntors for Nottingham Forest to a 3rd Party. If however the NCC were called, then Forest were required to repay the amount, or else. NCC had to cough up a goodly sum while Forest were adamant they would not be kettleing a farthing in return.

What concerned Forest however is that their failure could result in the NCC taking possession of the City Ground. In order to circumvent this they put into action a cunning plan which could be the way forward.

On Wednesday evening they played Real Madrid in a friendly. If any Forest fans are scratching their heads this is clear proof of how well this scheme is working.

Matches are not publicised and kick off at 23h00 with the lights off. This means no electricty reading will show up either. Anyone caught speaking or, God forbid screaming, is given a short, sharp lesson and then evicted.

The game itself was not a classic according to most players we spoke to afterwards. : "Those carrots weren't worth a toss, couldn't see a thing...and I'm stuffed if you think I'm going to study tactics in braille. It's bad enough that the fookin' match program can peel the skin off your fingers".

Unconfirmed reports say that the pampered pussycats from Spain were not impressed. It was a disaster with David Beckham believing he had had a 'blinder' after taking a wrong turn and playing with himself on one of the training fields for the first half.

Team talk at half time was 'different' as managers went around feeling players to ensure that they had a full set of their own.

Forest have in line with this scheme issued a warning to the NCC that they have found an alternative to the City Ground and don't need the ground anymore. The NCC has accused the club of keeping them in the dark.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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