Paris - (Merde Alors! Mess): Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is unequivocal: "And where was Nadal? Henri Leconte? Tsonga, Gasquet??
"You ask them first, before bothering me with these ridiculous questions!"
France's first madam was answering gendarmes' questions today following the discovery of yet another suspicious celebrity death in Paris after the mysterious RIPs of model Katoucha Niane and Hotel du Bristol Palin victim Kinga Legg.
This time it was tennis pro Mathieu Montcourt, 24, whose body was discovered slumped over a stairwell outside his sixteenth arronidissement home.
The world number 119 seed had recently been suspended for an online betting coup predicting Andy Roddick would take Roger Federer on a five set finals thriller before capitulating 'after some 34 games in the last set'.
"Suspended? Et voila! There you 'ave it! Some sort of David Carradine/Michael Hutchence rope trick in the 'otel tool cupboard? Formidable!"
Andy Murray is in hiding.
