Written by Shaworth

Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for Howard Webb appointed Manchester United Director of Football
Mr Webb leaving Old Trafford yesterday

Premier league referee Howard Webb was appointed as the new director of Football for Manchester United yesterday. The news was greeted by delirious scenes of celebration around old Trafford as Webb was hailed as a "Messiah" who would ensure Manchester United "would never lose a game ever again".

Webb will be introduced to the fans at United's next home game against Arsenal and is expected to get a euphoric reception from the old Trafford faithful. At Manchester United's Piccadilly and Trafford Centre stores, shirts in black with "Webb" on the back went on sale today and sold out in just ninety seconds. The new appointment is already a hit with the fans.

Previous Director of Football Sir Bobby Charlton said, "fair enough, the time has come for some new blood and no one deserves this appointment more than Howard Webb. He has done more for this club than anyone else on the planet, including Sir Alex!"

Fergie himself was ecstatic at the appointment. "I think this means Howard and I will maintain our current very close working relationship for many years to come" he said, when told that Webb had signed a five year deal.

United chief executive David Gill was also all smiles as he announced the new appointment. "Alan has been working with our first team squad on a consultancy basis for a few days now and I am pleased that we have now secured his services on a more permanent basis. I am sure he will continue to be a huge asset to this club. I just hope the FA don't start nit-picking their way through the rule book with a fine tooth comb trying to find a way of stopping Alan from continuing to referee Premier League games.

An FA spokesman said they were checking the regulations and may be calling a hearing to discuss the matter in the Autumn.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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