Darts Player Pins Opponent To Board

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 12 January 2009

image for Darts Player Pins Opponent To Board
20, double top, double 16, single 11, treble 19, double 1, treble 7 to leave him needing 143

There was chaos tonight during the final of the British Darts World Championship when one of the finalists threw a dart at his opponent, pinning him to the dartboard with his first dart, and then scoring two match-winning bullseyes with his second and third arrows.

The strangely-named Ted Hankey was on the point of victory in his exciting match with Tony O'Shea, when, inexplicably, he launched a dart at the board when O'Shea was still clearing his arrows from it.

The missile struck O'Shea in the forehead, and he remained pinnioned to the board. This left the under-pressure Hankey with 100 still to score, and he chose his 'out' by aiming for two bullseyes, which sailed in, sending his supporters into raptures.

The crowd rioted, and darts were launched in every direction in the traditional way.

O'Shea was released from the board by two quick-thinking beer-swillers in the audience, and was treated on the spot. He was unhurt, and later laughed:

"You've got to hand it to Ted. He doesn't miss many when he's in that situation!"

A spokesman for the venue, the Lakeside in Frimley Green, Surrey, said:

"They're a bit wild these darts fans. Not much 'up top', either."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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