Licking their wounds after the Beijing Olympics resulted in more Shiny Bling Bling for the Chinese team, The US Olympic Committee was motivated to do some research into the US bumbling in Beijing. The resulting report published in Sour Grapes, the Sports Illustrated for Sore Losers had some shocking revelations.
American youth since the 50's have been brainwashed by a Red Chinese plot to eat eat everything on their plates because people were starving in China. Who would have guessed that playing upon the sympathies of US moms would have resulted years later in the obesity of the 2008 US Olymic athletes? Track batons were dropped by incidental brushes with big bellies and some swimmers actually drowned from the high tide caused by less than sleek torpedoes in red, white and blue speedos.
New guidelines from the USOC called "Advice to Mom for a Better Olympic Future for Americans" suggests that leaving food on the plate is a good thing especially in a nation that subscribes to supersizing of portions and people.
