Newly crowned European Champions, Manchester United, have revealed plans for a summer world tour to celebrate winning their emphatic 6-5 penalty shoot-out win over plucky Chelsea.
The tour's route is being kept a close secret. However insiders have revealed to The Spoof that the open top bus will take in all of Manchester United's heartlands of Asia, Eastern Europe, and the south of England.
A spokesperson at Manchester City Hall commented on the news, "this doesn't surprise us. We met last week and the consensus was that it would be no point having an open top bus procession here in Manchester...there would not be enough fans to line the streets. The Rangers incident gave us the perfect opportunity to avoid the embarassing scene of the team parading through empty streets being verbally abused by Manchester City fans"
Cristiano Ronaldo is said to be disappointed by the decision, speaking from a hotel somewhere near Real Madrid's stadium, the superstar showed his solidarity with Manchester fans everywhere, "it's a so a sunny here, it rain all the time in a Mansester. I love it here so mucha, and I want to play in a Spain...but of course I won't be leaving Manchester, I think for sure maybe"
The Spoof was unable to track down any local Manchester United fans for comment although stockbrockers in the home counties are reportedly over the moon at the news.
