FA Cup Final To Go Ahead Despite Boredom Fears

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 17 May 2008

image for FA Cup Final To Go Ahead Despite Boredom Fears
Burger, fries and a Coke? That'll be...better get yer Credit Card out, mate

Today's FA Cup Final between Portsmouth and Cardiff City is to be allowed to go ahead despite fears that it may turn out to be the most boring game of football ever to be televised.

The Football Association met this morning at its Lancaster Gate headquarters amid much consternation that the two unattractive teams would serve up a "load of cack" for viewers, and particularly those watching in other countries, who are under the impression that English football is the best in the world.

A spokesman for the FA said:

"There were genuine concerns that these two clubs would embarrass the English game beyond repair. The two Cardiff strikers, Robbie Fowler and that Dutchman Jimmy Floyd Hasselhof have a combined age of 83 - how's that going to look to the Hong Kong Chinese?"

He went on:

"We could have made them play on a park somewhere, but, in the end, it was thought that the game needs the revenue that the over-priced Wembley burgers, fries and Coke brings in, so it's going ahead as planned."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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