Cup Victory Predicted For Queen Of The South

Funny story written by matwil

Friday, 16 May 2008

Speaking from his luxury house in Govan, Rangers manager Walter Miffed predicted that Queen of the South would win this year's Scottish Cup.

'First of all we'll spend 45 minutes playing for time', he said, 'and in the second half, we'll give away an easy goal under no pressure at all. After that, my players will try diving, and shouting angrily at each other, before losing a second even easier goal. Then it's out with the patronising handclaps, and off to the pub to get blitzed.'

But others disagreed with Mr. Smith's views. Queen of the South legend Jimmy Someone, who scored their only league goal in 43 years, said: 'We might struggle, look how well Rangers played in the UEFA Cup final. OK, we'll walk it.'

And former light blues' player, Ally McNeedahoisttoliftme, said: 'It'll be tight, make no cliches about that, but I'll probably be in the Job Centre with Walter, this time next week.'

From the other side of the Mean City, Celtic manager, and annoying wee midget, Gordon Strachan said: 'Aye, millions of Scots across the world will be watching the game, hoping the bluenoses get hammered, and that'll be including me.' And his assistant coach, Joe Jordan, who holds the world record for sending-offs for a striker, usually for violent misconduct, said: 'Aye, we'll be havin' a wee word with them after the match, win or lose, that should keep the coppers busy, except there'll be none of them running away in this city!'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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