Dookies ask for, get do-over

Funny story written by Kid Savage

Saturday, 22 March 2008

Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski asked for and was granted a do-over by the NCAA after West Virginia defeated the Blue Devils 73-67 in the second round of the NCAA Tournament on Saturday.

The game has been rescheduled for Monday at Cameron Indoor Stadium at a time Krzyzewski will determine.

Coach K said his squad didn't have enough time to prepare for West Virginia after Duke's narrow win over Belmont in Thursday's first round. He said the squad thought it got its one bad game out of its system against unknown Belmont, and told the Blue Devils to spend their off-day on Friday with a stripper or two.

But after losing to West Virginia, Krzyzewski decided the team wasn't as prepared as it should've been and notified the NCAA. The NCAA huddled for about two minutes and rubber-stamped Krzyzewski's request.

It said that Duke deserved another chance because the team was dealt a bad hand by the tournament's selection committee when it sent the Blue Devils out of state for the first two rounds. Normally, Duke doesn't have to play an early NCAA Tournament game more than 60 miles away from home.

The NCAA said sending Duke 256 miles up the road to Washington, D.C., was an oversight.

"We have to make the situation right," the spokesman said. "After looking at all the facts, we believe replaying the game in Durham is only fair.

"I hope Duke forgives us."

"Maybe you've heard of us," Krzyzewski said during his press conference after the loss. "We play in the ACC, and we usually don't have to face such lousy competition, but that's what happens in the NCAAs. They'll let teams like Belmont and West Virginia in.

"It's so beneath us to have to play them, but the NCAA manned-up and rescheduled the game."

Krzyzewski said he also was distressed at the number of fouls called in Saturday's contest. WVU had 25 and was in early foul trouble. Duke had 23, several of which were called late in the game when the Blue Devils had to foul.

"It's not like we're playing eight against five, you know," Krzyzewski said. "Our five plus two refs should be enough. All we ask is that the third ref be neutral.

"But the way they called the game today, I think there was some collusion. I saw at least 75 West Virginia fouls and, I'll have to look at the film, but I don't recall my guys committing one, even when I told them to foul."

Krzyzewski said he usually meets with the referees before the game to determine how many fouls he wants called, but got a bad vibe from this officiating crew.

"I could tell they were going to call it our way, just not enough to really stick it to (WVU coach) Bob Huggins," Coach K said. "I mean, my record is impeccable, and Bob's record is, uh, well, let's be kind and say Bob's got some baggage.

"All I want to know is why didn't we get more free throws when it was obvious our 3-point shooting was off? I smell a rat."

Duke shot 32 foul shots to WVU's 22.

The NCAA said it's embarrassed about the situation and promised never to send Duke out of state for the postseason again. An NCAA insider said the organization is considering legislation that will give Duke opponents two fouls on every one of its players to start the game, plus they must play wearing blindfolds.

"That should even things up a little," Coach K said.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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