Written by King David

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

image for Adolescents at Buckley E. Filbertamous Middle discover new game
Students are treated intermittently with intramural breaks to relieve stress and exercise (their dreadful demons)

Adolescents at Buckley E. Filbertamous Middle discovered a new game today as they played in the gym during intramurals this morning. Three eighth grade classes assembled this morning as students were given long colored strips of material to hang from their belt loops.

Each class having the same color strips were instructed to spread out in the gym and steal the strips from individuals in other classes and place them in 5-gallon buckets at the end of the room.

An adolescent girl discovered that it was inheritably more fun to grab several inches to the left of the flag that flanked the boy's right hip than it was to grab the flag itself.

One girl who shall not be named said that she made the discovery by accident.

"I was going for his strip," she said, but missed when he turned the other direction. "I felt something soft and squishy like a banana."

Officials from Planned Parenthood were called onto the scene to investigate. Their objective was to determine whether the action of the girl was premeditated, or, in fact, a mistake like the girl said it was.

The incident had a domino effect with other girls who also began to grab the guy's bananas. Guys then began slowing down, making it easier for the girls to catch them. Imagine that.

A spokesman for Nike said that the company was not responsible for the boys who were wearing their sneakers and got caught.

"It was purely their decision to get caught," said one company spokesman. "Our shoes had nothing to do with it."

Teachers witnessing the event were either terribly appalled, or laughed amusingly.

There wasn't much middle ground.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: School

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