Sports writers and sports readers the world over have often been interested in British sports if only for the mystery of awfully unmanly men so deeply involved in athletics. The problem arises when these reader-writers try to decipher the sport articles in British journals like the Guardian.
US Sports expert, Biff Loman claims that he has read hundreds of sport articles in British papers and still does not know what in the world they are talking about: "You can read two to three pargraphs and ther is not even mention of what the sport being discussed is! Ther is all this jabber about goalies and midfielders and such but I keep asking myself is this hockey, soccer or cricket! Why can't they just crack the code and say: this team plays x-sport and this is what happened in the game. It's like the Navajo code talkers write for the UK sports columns!"
Navajo Code Talker Joseph Phlibitigibit objected to the characterization: I am an expert in enigmatic speech and messaging and i don't have a clue what is being said in these sports columns! Here's a classic example from the Guardian(so named because it guards the reader from understanding what in the world they are reporting!):
Any manager is in need of a victory, but the accidents of scheduling mean that Steve McClaren could still be scoffed at following a win tonight. Perhaps he focuses purely on the three points to be banked in Group E. It would be ideal, though, if England could convey a sense of style against Andorra, a team with nothing more in mind than orderly retreat.
Code talker Philibijibit is offering a prize to those who can decode the message: "I cracked the codes of the Japanese and created codes that no one could decipher. these UK sports code talkers have my respect!"
