HOUSTON - (Satire News) - Jose Altuve, the super star 2nd baseman with the Houston Astros has just told Sportspalooza's Pia Confetti, that he has bought 7 Whataburgers in the Houston area.
Altuve, said that ever since he first came to America from his home in Puerto Corral De Los Caballos Bravos, Venezuela, he has always loved eating Whataburgers.
He noted that "Whataburgers keek dee asses of McDonalds, Burger King, In-N-Out, Wendy's, and Jack-in-The-Box."
Alty, as his teammates call him, laughed as he said that he enjoys eating Whataburgers as much as that piece of shit racist asshole Donald J. E. Trump loves eating Big Macs.
