Harry Maguire Stuns Soccer World by Announcing Early Retirement

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Thursday, 10 October 2019

image for Harry Maguire Stuns Soccer World by Announcing Early Retirement
An early night for Harry

Manchester, UK. Woof Blister reporting for SIN - Spoof International News. In a shocking tweet posted in late afternoon today, the most beloved [and parodied] player in European and UK soccer history revealed that he will retire early - in fact, this very day. Despite his young age and the fact that he has only played in the league for a relatively short time, Harry Maguire is calling it quits early.

His short tweet was precise and to the point. "After considerable thought, I have decided that, for the good of the game, my early retirement is necessary. Consequently, beginning tonight, I will go to bed promptly at 9 p.m."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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