Manchester, UK. Woof Blister reporting for SIN - Spoof International News. In a shocking tweet posted in late afternoon today, the most beloved [and parodied] player in European and UK soccer history revealed that he will retire early - in fact, this very day. Despite his young age and the fact that he has only played in the league for a relatively short time, Harry Maguire is calling it quits early.
His short tweet was precise and to the point. "After considerable thought, I have decided that, for the good of the game, my early retirement is necessary. Consequently, beginning tonight, I will go to bed promptly at 9 p.m."
