Olympic officials have announced that Muff Diving will be included for the first time in the 2008 Olympics in Bejing. Guiseppe Puseatero, leading advocate for the sport since the Rome games of 1960, was overjoyed: "Finally those narrow-minded among us have seen that this is more than just a hobby or a perversion!".
American champion J.R.N.Ombligo anounced:"I got the gold!". Olympic Committee Chairwoman, first female to head the IOC, Lady Hope Hotclit welcomed the change: "If the venerable World games that have their origin in Ancient Greece can do this than maybe Lord Harry can!"
The change does not come without controversy. IOC officials still need to resolve whether this will be a men's sport, a women's event or the first co-ed Olympic contest. Studies are being conducted as to the height of the diving board and the depth of the pool.The site of the event has been debated, with the nautitorium and the wrestling forum leading contenders.
Officials are investigating the parameters for drug testing and whether protective devices will be required. Olympic Medical Advisor Dr. Goanes Downdere is advocating for latex protection devices for all participants: "This is a medical nightmare if contestants are not properly wrapped. It would be like weight-lifting without a jock, only worse!"
Chinese officials seemed to be suffering from translational confusion during the discussion. Government representative to the IOC,Wy Goe Dzown kept asking his translator: "What is all this talk about pussy? Tell them no cat will be served in Olympic village! Have to go to Old Beijing for such delicacies!"