Breaking news in the sports world: The city of Cleveland once again has absolutely nothing to be proud of. Their beloved Cavaliers are officially the first team to have their championship expunged, adding to the never ending misery that makes Cleveland the embodiment of excrement that it is. Lebron James's pre Finals drug test has come back positive for estrogen abuse.
It turns out that Draymond Green of the Warriors was correct: Lebron is in fact a "bitch". James's long history of flopping, complaining to referees, and effeminate facial expressions finally has an explanation. My inside sources have informed me that Lebron's estrogen doping was a direct effort to excel in the pussified version of basketball exemplified by the modern day NBA.
Adding female hormones to his system allowed James to exaggerate minor physical contact and excel at nagging referees to have his way. Lebron's possible long term goal of becoming the next Caitlyn Jenner is yet to be confirmed. When questioned on the situation, he broke out into tears and ran away daintily.
