Written by Ossurworld

Monday, 18 March 2013

The curse of Ochocinco lingers in Foxboro with the New England Patriots.

Yes, after a lackluster season, the new '85', Brandon Lloyd, found his $3million bonus in a locked room- and the Patriots confiscated his key.

Released, Lloyd has no claim on the prize money. He certainly did better than Chad Johnson, the Ochocinco brand on his back for two years. The first Ocho collected big bucks for little performance.

Brandon Lloyd may have been advised upon coming to the Patriots that megastar Tom Brady had an aversion to the number '85'. Perhaps Josh McDaniels and Lloyd thought they could perform some aversion therapy on Tom.

Brandon was a handpicked Chippendale of choreographer Josh McDaniels, but he caught only 74 passes, about 60 more than Ocho. He could read the playbook and seemingly understood the complexities of Brady's scan and pan technique.

Alas, all the training appeared to fail during the season when Lloyd caught only a few important balls and showed a propensity to collapse upon the mark where he managed to hold onto the football.

Worse, reports circulated in the post-season that Brandon was unlike Chad Johnson in the locker room. Vivacious, amusing, and at least a diversion, Ochocinco was at best worth a smile.

Brandon Lloyd started to evolve into Rajon Rondo, not the best role model in Boston.

Now that Number '83' is free for the taking, we expect that no one will be forced to don the downtrodden '85.'

Any receiver with gold dust in his eyes and big money on his mind will avoid following in the footsteps of Chad Ochocinco and Brandon Lloyd.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
63 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more