Olympics Drops Medal Awards from 2014 Games

Funny story written by Maynard Collington

Wednesday, 13 February 2013

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It has been announced that medals will no longer be handed out to finalists in the 2014 games. The decision was applauded by television networks and ushers in a new era for the aging sports franchise.

The decision to halt medal awards was voted on, and passed unanimously during a secret ballot at the Mountain Dew headquarters in Athens, Georgia.

Sources stated that the committee wants to have a more honorable and respected ceremony at the end of the games, where the winning country gets a giant crystal trophy instead. That type of ceremony was favored overall; because the "winningest" country gets the party atmosphere it deserves at the end, while the second and third losers don't take away from that after every single event.

"Modern sport contests are overtaking olympic broadcast demographics and we have been searching for ways to make the Olympic Games more fresh and appealing to today's viewing audience." says spokeswoman and on air personality Brandi Taylor. "Medals are so outdated and ancient"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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