Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 1 February 2013

image for Manti Te'o Has Been Banned From The Super Bowl
A photo which is alleged to be Lennay Kekua AKA Ronaiah Tuiasosopo. (Photo provided by Donald Trump).

NEW ORLEANS - The Super Bowl Committee has just announced that it has banned Norte Dame football player and Internet hoax participant Manti Te'o from appearing at Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans.

A committee spokesperson identified as Ebenezer Buckerbeeker, stated to the news media that the SBC just felt that if Manti Te'o showed up that it would take away from the histrionic hoopla and stunning spectacle of the game.

Buckerbeeker went on to say that the game is about the Baltimore Ravens and the San Francisco 49ers and not about some Internet hoax involving two same-sex parties who carried on a cyber relationship for a year that bordered on the abnormally bizarre and ludicrously deviant.

Even Vice-President Joe Biden commented that he felt that it would be in the best interest of the nation if Mr. Te'o simply decided to watch the Super Bowl in the privacy of his own home or apartment, whichever the case may be.

SIDENOTE: The word on Bourbon Street is that an individual named Ronaiah Tuiasosopo [PRONOUNCED: SHA-NI-A TOO-DLE-TOO-DLE-DOO] who was pretending to be Te'o's girlfriend Lennay Kekua will be watching the big game at The Inebriated Kangaroo Lounge in New York City.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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