Celtic Chris Wilcox Bares a Finger in Philadelphia

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Monday, 10 December 2012

Just ask Chris Wilcox if you got to have heart to play for the Celtics.

Sidelined last season with heart surgery, he has returned to the Celtics a renewed man. In fact, he is showing too much manhood to suit the NBA.

They just fined him $25,000 for having too much heart. While in Philadelphia, that bastion of etiquette and politesse, Mr. Wilcox bent over backwards to return the favor of the Philly welcoming committee.

Chris apparently revealed his middle finger to the adoring throngs at courtside as the fourth quarter unfolded.

Not since snowballs hit Santa Claus, has Philadelphia been so shocked by bad manners.

The cheese-steak crowd bemoaned the fact that Wilcox revealed a finger sans a championship ring. He wanted merely to show them where he would put it.

Alas, bad humor follows as the night the day in the City of Brotherly Love. As anyone walking the street can tell you, Philadelphia is an expensive town.

Some fingers being indelicate digits, Chris might be advised next time to deliver a bouquet of fingers, not merely a single naked one.

Since retired Celtics superstar and member of the original Big Three (with McHale and Bird), Robert Parrish is selling another one of his three championship rings, Wilcox may consider buying it, thus helping a penurious alum of the Celtics, and sheathing his own finger with a Celtic classic.

We decry naked middle fingers. Next time Chris flaunts it, he should make sure he is wearing the legacy of Robert Parrish on his bony knuckle.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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