Celtics Giving Thanks, but No Thanks on Thanksgiving

Written by Ossurworld

Thursday, 22 November 2012

The Celtics now lose by leaps and bounds. If Superman can leap over tall buildings, the Celtics found themselves playing like Clark Kent when he forgot where he put his cape.

In a game where rebounds are everywhere, there is not a drop in the bucket for the Celtics.

The Celtics had more kick balls than rebounds in their pre-Thanksgiving turkey of a game. Celtics seldom make passes to boys in green off the glasses.

Rajon Rondo continued to be a one-man wrecking crew, but alas he has not yet mastered the talent of passing a ball to himself for the dunk.

If Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett mail in the game, you know the Post Office may be ready to raise the price of stamps.

When you play like a somnambulist, you may trip over the tryptophan in your shorts. If Courtney Lee passes the gravy over Thanksgiving dinner like he passes the ball, your best tablecloth will need to be hung out to dry.

When the Celtics decided to waive Darko Milicic this week, we knew what ailed him: his poor mother was sick in Europe, and dutifully he returned to her.

We still don't know what ails the rest of the Celtics, but they tend to like streaks. Rondo extended his streak of double digit assists, and the Celtics streaked all the way to .500.

The incredible lack of offensive rebounds may offend Celtics fans. When Jared Sullinger grabs anything under the net, you may have a chance to win. In this game on Thanksgiving Eve, we had no one beating the drumstick. Sully played like a man sullied.

The Celtics were stuffed, squashed, and made sauce for the gander as well as cranberries for the turkey.

We pray the game after Thanksgiving may be more bountiful.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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