Written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

What's in a name? Doesn't the rose smell as sweet by any other name? So stated Shakespeare in one of his lucid moments about football antics.

In a sporting example, the rose is no sweetheart, but a number. The oft-maligned Chad Ochocinco (or was that Ocho Cinco?) has gone the way of the garbage barge out at sea.

We will not see his likes again, or at least till the NFL season starts. Married to his sweetheart and divorced from the New England Patriots, Chad has become another Johnson on the Miami Dolphins.

Yes, the name has been changed to help the guilty escape the stigma of a name that shall go down in infamy.

Ochocinco, the name that defined priceless monikers, made him a household name, not some generic brand at the NFL supermarket of ego.

Chad inspired Jonathan Papelbon to refer to himself as Cinco Ocho, though now with the Philadelphia Phillies, he is pitching more like Suzy Creamcheese. We expect to see another baptism soon-or Papelbon will become nameless in relief.

Those who don't learn from the past are condemned to repeat it. And, Chad Johnson learned his lesson well. When he was a boy, he did boyish things-and now as a married man, he has not taken his wife's name-but taken his birthright back.

The good news is that his jerseys-from Cincinnati or New England become priceless memorabilia on eBay. They always were a little redundant, having the name and number speaks volumes for illiteracy.

"Ocho cinco" is not Spanish for 58 unless you happen to be an illiterate NFL star that is not bilingual in Spanish or English. Or, you could be an NFL star whose mantra is "Yo Soy Fiesta," which come to think of it epitomizes another bon vivant of NFL quasi-literate fun.

To our knowledge Rob Gronkowski has not yet taken a page out of Chad's book and changed his jersey name to "Gronk."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Chad Ochocinco

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